Sunday, February 22, 2009


Welcome to another Guys Guide to the Oscars post from me for another year, where we try and zero in to what might be of interest for guys at this year's Oscar show.

Believe you me, this year looks grim from a guy's perspective. We've got a bunch of nominees of interest only to die-hard patrons of arthouse and indy movie houses, nowhere else. In particular, we have a serious lack of movies popular with guys -- namely, The Dark Knight.

The fact that The Dark Knight got snubbed in the major categories was pretty infuriating to people like myself -- not to mention the millions of people who went to see this flick. I understand a lot of members of the vast fanboy community are boycotting the awards show. Personally, I dunno why people are even wasting their time doing any sort of "boycott". If you have no interest in the show, don't bother to watch it, but don't give me any of this "boycott" nonsense. That just advertises to the world that you give credence to the Oscars as the be-all and end-all arbiters of cinematic taste, which is a load of bull.

Anyway, here's a look at what might be of interest to guys at this year's show -- and boy oh boy, I sure am stretching it this year.

(1) Since the entire Best Picture category is of no interest, one might be interested in the technical awards -- ie. the "Arnold Schwarzenegger categories", usually dominated by movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Unfortunately, Arnold is governor of California now, and these awards are likely to be dominated by The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- which is bound to further disappoint fans of The Dark Knight if it happens.

(2) Always a good way to kill time: figuring out the onscreen nudity credits of the Best Actress nominees. The good news for guys is that every one of the Best Actress nominees has been naked in the movies. Every single one of them.

Of course, Kate Winslet has been nude in so many movies that it has been a joke. But you might be pulling for her to take home the Oscar for The Reader since, well, she was naked in that movie. Others might be more interested in Angelina Jolie, who has also been naked in so many movies that it has been a joke. I know the tabloid-type people are more interested in Jolie, mainly because of the whole Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston thing. But guys don't give a care about that garbage.

(3) Usually good for a few laughs is figuring out whether the host will crash and burn. I see that instead of going for some edgy host, the Academy has entrusted the job to Hugh Jackman. Well, that almiost ensures a dull and boring telecast, because he's bound to do a solid job.

(4) Always interesting is figuring out whether there will be any embarrassing political statements -- not likely given the new administration in Washington that is so much beloved by everyone in Hollywood. For that matter, I wonder if we will see any embarrassing moments at all, period -- like guys streaking on stage and so on.

(5) Cheering for your favorite "guys" movie to win at the Oscars is always a fun activity, but it sure looks like the Best Picture category is a total loss. So I guess your best bet is to cheer for The Dark Knight to win the technical awards -- unless you want to cheer for Frost/Nixon or something like that. You can't really cheer against a guy like Ron Howard.

Also, Robert Downey Jr. is up for his role in Tropic Thunder, so you might want to cheer that on.

And of course there's Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Man, you know you are grasping at straws when you have to figure out what rooting interest to take in this year's awards show. The Wrestler isn't even nominated for Best Picture, either.

(6) Trying to predict who will be on the "usual list of dead people" reel that the Academy always runs. I gotta say, if Stan Winston isn't on it he will have definitely been robbed.

Uh, that's it. Back in a moment to post the live streams.

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