Thursday, October 30, 2008


Noticed that a few cars got flipped over by some of the folks down there in Losertown, PA, celebrating their long-awaited championship after 28 years.

Now it's time for some other city to be known as Losertown instead of Philadelphia. (For example: Cleveland, Buffalo, the north side of Chicago...)

Well, I kind of feel happy for those folks-- they had to live with the memory of Joe Carter and his home run for fifteen years. "Touch em all, Joe!"

(Can you believe Pat Gillick is with the Phillies?)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Well, Game Five of the World Series has been delayed yet again!! Not by the elements, this time, but by a politician. Mr. Barack H. Obama.

And if this isn't enough reason to not vote for him I don't know what is! In these troubled times, people want some sort of diversion from their troubles -- like baseball! This isn't some chump ball game either, it's for the championship!! The last thing die-hard baseball fans want to see is a further delay to this important Phillies-Rays game in favor of a bought and paid for campaign ad by the Obama-Biden campaign on every channel.

John McCain wouldn't have done such a thing. (Mind you, his campaign has no money anyway by now, but never mind.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Well, the blog remains in a rain delay after Game 5 of the World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays was suspended due to rain yesterday.

The weather remains miserable tonight, so there is no game tonight, either. Which means a rather quiet night here in the Cairns household tonight.

I get a laugh listening to these sports talk show hosts on the radio, taking yet another opportunity to bash Bud Selig over the suspended game. Actually, I think Selig did the right thing, here. What the heck did you expect him to do here? Selig says that if Philly had held the lead when the game was suspended, the game would have remained suspended until play could resume. Well, that's the way it should be: it shouldn't simply be called an official game, just because play was in the 6th inning! But that's not good enough for a lot of these sports talk hosts who are looking for things to criticize about this World Series. They are all criticizing all the supposed confusion surrounding a game that got called due to bad weather. Get a life, people.

Oh, and people were ranting on Saturday night, too, when that game was also delayed due to rain and wound up being decided in the middle of the night. Guys, the elements are part of the game; sometimes games get delayed and they end at 2 am in the morning. And rain delays are what makes the sport of baseball what it is. Deal with it, people.

So we remain in the middle of a long rain delay for Game 5 of the World Series, and so we wait for the weather in Philadelphia to clear up. Apparently this is the first suspended game in the history of the World Series, ever. So that is something new, too. We will keep you posted on what's happening.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Well, I wish I had more news from the days I have been gone from the blog, but I don't. Suffice it to say I have been preoccupied with other matters for the last few days. It looks like this week might be a little easier so I may have more to say around here. in between watching old horror movies on TV on TCM and AMC.

On to the latest rants.

We are approaching the last full week of the American presidential campaign and, surprise surprise, the top issue in the American campaign is the price tag from the wardrobe of vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Meanwhile, the negative commercials continue on American TV. Keep it here at The CAIRNS BLOG for continuing coverage of the American elections and see you on election night for full live-blogging. (I should be around to do some of that, unlike on Canadian election night when I was actually on assignment reporting the vote results).

Here in frozen Canada we expect an announcement any time of the composition of Stephen Harper's new cabinet.

In movie news, High School Musical 3 won at the box office this weekend.

Found an article about gorgeous Fox Business anchor Jenna Lee. I wonder if she's found a boyfriend yet.

And I notice efforts are under way to try and save the Canadian Grand Prix, although, quite frankly, I wouldn't blame anyone if they wanted to tell Bernie Ecclestone where to go. Formula 1 is holding up Montreal for ransom. I sure hope the people there are working behind the scenes looking for some other series to go in there at Circuit Jacques Villeneuve, so they can tell these money-grubbers at F1 to go jump off a cliff.

I could possibly post something about the stock market, or about the family tragedy involving Jennifer Hudson, or even the World Series. I don't feel like it, though.

That's it. Honestly, there's really not much happening here where I am right now; I basically posted this so I could show my face.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Well, this is too good. The Office is going to have an episode where Steve Carell's character, Michael Scott, and a couple of his underlings make a trip up to Winnipeg, Manitoba -- otherwise known as the Scranton of Canada.

Just the fact that The Office will have a show set in Winnipeg is funny enough. Winnipeg is good for a few laughs all by itself. (The place has also been featured in episodes of The Simpsons.)

The whole thing was actually shot in Los Angeles, apparently. Don't worry, though. The tourism bureau apparently sent down some Old Dutch chips and stuff from The Bay to make it look real.

(Did they send down any Winnipeg Jets jerseys? They still sell those, there, too.)

Oh, and I hope Michael Scott brings a newspaper on his business trip --- otherwise he'll have nothing to read, because the Winnipeg Free Press is still on strike.

Monday, October 20, 2008


I dunno what it is about these gorgeous women who hit age 40. Seems to me a lot of them get a bit of an exhibitionistic streak going at that age.

Fresh on the heels of 47-year-old Carol Alt's revelation that she's posing for Playboy, country music hottie Faith Hill has posed on the cover of Shape Magazine, wearing a bikini. Age 41.

Only in America, land of religion and uptight people, could it be news for someone to wear a bikini.

That's it! Back to the Bat-Cave for me for awhile.

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Well, this was a very amusing week to be a follower of politics.

Here in frozen Canada I was very busy earlier this week covering the election. I was assigned to cover Gerry Ritz at his election office in the Battlefords-Lloydminster electoral district, and that was amusing because of all kinds of well-publicized nonsense that went on behind the scenes. First they were going to keep the reporters out of the victory party in the campaign office, and then they changed their minds and let the media in (after a few phone calls, I understand, by one of the other reporters I know).

Anyway I found it interesting that a number of people I had met in my more political days in Ontario went on to win seats. Such as Bob Dechert in Mississauga, for example. I met him during the Tony Clement provincial leadership campaign in 2002. In fact, it's scary how many provincial political people from Ontario have decided to go federal. I noticed a guy named Dr. Benson Lau ran in Scarborough-Agincourt for the Tories, and that was interesting because I met him when he had helped out on other campaigns as an organizer.

I kind of missed not being a part of the political scene in an active way. Being a news reporter is different because, well, you need to be non-partisan. That is something I have been striving to do. Actually it's pretty easy, because I am kind of ticked off at the antics of everyone in politics right now. I have issues with everyone. So yes, that makes it easier.

Having a campaign background is really helpful because you can see what campaign strategies are being employed by the parties. You kind of know why the Prime Minister isn't bothering to show up in Saskatchewan -- because he's creaming everyone in Saskatchewan, so why not go campaign in Toronto to try and win seats there. Anyway, it was a lot of fun covering this election. I have to say that it is good to see so many people interested in the campaign here in Saskatchewan. When I lived in Toronto I got the impression people didn't care at all.

Fallout from the election is expected tomorrow as Liberal leader Stephane Dion is set to resign.

Now it's on to the US election and what looks more and more like a certain victory for Barack Obama. Let's face it, angry-man John McCain has run a terrible campaign. You can tell which way the wind is blowing just by looking at the people jumping on Obama's bandwagon. I notice Christopher Buckley resigned from the National Review, a magazine founded by his father William F. Buckley, because he was supporting Obama. His dad has to be turning in his grave. Just today, Republican Colin Powell went on Meet the Press to announce he was supporting Obama. I can't say I am surprised, he's kind of on the outs with the Republican Party anyway.

I plan to rant a little more about the American election, which is increasingly being dominated by discussion of Joe the Plumber and the appearances of politicians on late-night talk shows. Here where I am, the ads on late-night TV from the States are all littered with political ads from Michigan, Al Franken ads from Minnesota, and that ugly New Hampshire race for the Senate where John Sununu and Jeanne Shaheen are slugging it out. I fully expect more of this nonsense for the next several days.


PROGRAMMING NOTES: Don't expect much blogging from me for a few days. I am looking at a number of late nights on assignment this week, and then I have my regular much-read movie column on Thursday night.

So something has to suffer, and it might as well be this blog. But don't worry, I should be back with more ranting later on this week. In the meantime, you can read my rant on this weekend's box office results. Now I must head off to tune in to the Tampa Bay-Boston Game Seven.


Check it out.

Friday, October 17, 2008


On the heels of my TV Guide post earlier, I notice we have reached the point of the TV season where new shows are now either starting to be renewed for the full season or yanked off the air completely. So many shows get yanked off the air after three or four airings, and while I know that people talk about how these shows get "new life" online, the fact is they do not. The Internet is generally where TV shows go to DIE.

The Internet is also a good place to rescue long-deceased series from the graveyard. On that note I thought I would go deep into the YouTube vaults to look for old, obscure TV shows that were yanked off the air very early on in their runs.


Here's a clip I came across of The Jerry Lewis Show on ABC from 1963. This was supposed to be ABC's big attempt to compete with Ed Sullivan and these other variety shows on the other networks, but it crashed and burned and was gone faster than you can blink. Check it out -- it looks exactly like one of Jerry's telethons, which kind of explains why it flopped. (Jerry can't sing, either.)


Here's clips here here and here from one of the most notorious sitcom flops in television history, The Tammy Grimes Show. It was on the air for only 4 weeks in 1966 and was cancelled because, well, it was so awful. Fun fact: the show featured Dick Sargent, who later replaced Dick York as Darrin on Bewitched.


Here's the open to The Ugliest Girl in Town, which lasted until about mid-season. Here's the pilot episode. I think it's pretty obvious why this was cancelled. You could have called the show The Stupidest Show in Town.

I plan to keep on searching the YouTube vaults for more good stuff.


I notice Rachel Sklar quit the Huffington Post. Uh, that's it.


It's sad that it's come to this. One of the most iconic magazines in America, TV Guide, has been sold for $1. That's right: Macrovision unloaded the mag to OpenGate Capital for one measly dollar. I understand what they really want are the Internet listings.

Still, it's more bad news for one of the most widely distributed magazines in the USA at one point in time. Having seen the current Hollywoodized version of this magazine, which is less about television and more about gossip and hype, I cannot say I am all that surprised.

Truly, this is a sign of the Apocalypse, or at least, a sure sign that the end is near for television. And the end of TV is coming sooner than you think, at least in the United States. As anyone who watches late-night weekend TV knows, you Americans have until February 17, 2009 to get those digital converter boxes so you can still watch TV over the air, as all analog signals are being shut off!! So, yeah -- the end of TV is coming, soon.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Talkin' about W. and the rest. Read it here.


It's official -- yet another big celebrity split-up. Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce, finally.

Divorce lawyers sure ain't going to starve in the coming RECESSION. (Actually, this is good news for Madonna. She can fuck A-Rod again, now.)

Really, this is getting to be ridiculous, all these relationships crashing. Who's next to split up -- Brangelina?!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I think my comments on the Canadian election will have to wait. I am a bit tired after being up late filing my election story, plus there's another good Barack Obama-John McCain debate coming up. Be sure to tune in to that.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


NDP 37
GREENS: A big fat ZERO.

Winners include Justin Trudeau, Marc Garneau(!), Bob Dechert, Peter Kent(!) and Gerard Kennedy, who knocked the NDP off.
Elizabeth May the Green leader LOSES to Peter MacKay. Rahim Jaffer has apparently gone down in flames in Edmonton. Oh, and good riddance Garth Turner.
Story of the election from CTV.
Full results and comment tomorrow on The Cairns Blog, but that's all for tonight.

Monday, October 13, 2008


As usual, here are the links to October 14th election day coverage. Polls close in much of the country at 9:30 pm EST. A full summary of results will be posted here late Tuesday night.
National Post
The Globe and Mail

Links to some articles from recent days:
The final campaign push
Nervous staffers of bubble MPs.
Star Liberals brace for tough fights

That is all for now.


Well, I wish I had more to say about the Canadian election, but I don't. Suffice it to say that there is not likely to be much change from last time. As I have said before, it's really hard for me to get worked up for this campaign because I am not actively involved in any sort of partisan way. I have been active as a member of the mainstream media, but it has been a strange campaign.

I suppose the fact that I live in a bedrock Conservative electoral district has something to do with the situation, because all the real news has happened elsewhere. The Prime Minister hasn't set foot in the riding even once, and the opposition leaders haven't been here either.

Of course, during the last election Stephen Harper had big rallies in Toronto that people attended. He had a big rally the same day that Stephane Dion had a big rally in Brampton, one in which Jean Chretien even showed up. If I were reporting the political beat in a place like Toronto it would have been a much more interesting time. At least in that region there has been some semblance of a race. Just not here in frozen Saskatchewan.

Anyway it will be interesting to see if we get some surprise upsets and well-known MPs getting knocked off. I suppose the highest profile race in the country involves Peter MacKay of the Conservatives and Elizabeth May of the Green Party out there in Nova Scotia, but there is no guarantee that May is even going to win. There are stories that Rahim Jaffer could be in trouble in Edmonton and that cabinet ministers Gary Lunn and Michael Fortier could also lose. In Toronto it looks like Gerard Kennedy may end up losing to incumbent NDP MP Peggy Nash. I know there are people wondering if Ralph Goodale will finally lose in Saskatchewan but somehow I don't see it happening. We'll see.

I will also be looking closely at how Conservatives Tony Clement, Jim Flaherty, Terence Young and Peter Kent do in Ontario. A guy I once campaigned for named Eugene McDermott is running again in Don Valley East. On a purely personal note I hope he does well -- but he's in one of those ridings that is tough for Conservatives to win.

Also I do not see there being much of a change in the seat count from last time. Maybe the Liberals lose a few and the NDP gains a few, but that's about it. And we'll be into the next Liberal leadership campaign in no time.

I'll be back with my usual Canadian election coverage with links to news sources and then my usual wrapup of the election results from across Canada after I am finished with my election night duties tomorrow. My list of links is coming up next.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


The CBC announced the winner of the nationwide contest to choose the new Hockey Night in Canada theme song just before tonight's telecast.

The new, ahem, "anthem", coming complete with bagpipes, sounds like something that would introduce a curling broadcast or something. I can't believe the CBC made such a production out of choosing a new theme song. The hosts declared this new theme "the people's choice" and Canada's new "second national anthem."

Wait one minute. Let's get something straight. This song they chose is just another theme song. It's not Canada's "second national anthem", and it isn't even the people's choice. The people's real choice is the hockey anthem these jokers at the CBC already had.

I gotta say it -- the new Hockey Night in Canada theme doesn't hold a candle to the new theme song for the hockey broadcasts on TSN beginning October 15. You know, the one that TSN swiped from CBC after the contract expired. (Idiots!!!)

Speaking of Hockey Night in Canada -- wasn't that broadcast ever littered with political ads tonight? What "air pollution" that was tonight with all those negative ads. Pathetic.

Friday, October 10, 2008


You are probably wondering where the heck my rants about the Canadian election are. Well, I have been writing about it-- for real publications, though. Just not here.

There is little for me to say about it that has not already been said. The Tories have blown their shot at a majority government with an embarrassing gaffe-filled campaign, and have looked like a bunch of folks in denial about the state of the economy. People are saying Prime Minister Stephen Harper should be doing the "I feel your pain" routine more, although he isn't wrong in saying things are better in Canada than in the United States. But then again, the economy in Western Canada is a whole lot better than in the East, where times are tough.

As for the Liberals, they blew their shot last night after Stephane Dion botched an interview with CTV in the Atlantic region because he repeatedly couldn't understand the question from the interviewer. Now it looks as if all the smaller parties are going to make gains on Tuesday and that Parliament will end up even more dysfunctional than ever.

I'll have more to say later -- I hope. Maybe my lack of interest is the byproduct of the fact that I am sitting out of a campaign, again, and therefore have nothing of value to say about it.

In the meantime, check out what Andrew Coyne thinks about the election, and also see what Roy MacGregor has to say about what he calls the worst campaign ever. Gee, Roy, I remember the 2006 and 2004 votes as being just as bad for the sort of thing you talk about. Nothing has changed at all in three or four elections: it's all negativism, spin, and twisting people's words. No discussion of the issues, just petty namecalling. Canadian politics is definitely in a sorry state.


Well, in addition to all the bad news from the stock market comes word this week that all the rumors have finally come true. Holly Madison has broken up with Hugh Hefner, and you know what that means: the end of their silly Girls Next Door hit TV show.

This is really sad news, the breakup of Holly, Bridget and Kendra with Hef. This is like the end of the Beatles.

Don't feel sorry for these three ladies, though. Each one of these girls is going to get a spinoff TV show, and you can bet their fans will follow them. The strange thing about this show they had going was the fact that it had a big female audience, following these three girly-girls on their adventures. These three babes were really getting to live the American dream: living in a mansion and using reality TV to become rich and famous. Just as previous Hef girlfriends like Barbi Benton, Shannon Tweed and Brande Roderick became rich and famous.

The really good news for these three girls is they'll be able to go after any guys they want now -- hopefully closer to their own age. And don't feel too sorry for Hef; apparently he's got some new girlfriends now, a couple of twins. Rumor is they may even keep this Girls Next Door show going with new replacement girlfriends, which quite frankly would be the biggest jump-the-shark move of all time.

It'll be too bad when Holly, Bridget and Kendra leave the show (it just started its latest season on E!), because it really is so-bad-it's-good television. It had a lot of common with another piece of schlock, Baywatch, that just so happened to have a lot of women in it who appeared in Playboy. Like Baywatch, The Girls Next Door is guilty pleasure-schlock entertainment, the perfect way to relax your cranium after a hard week of using your brain on the job. Because you don't need to use your brain to watch it.


All I will say about this decision is this: Traci Bingham definitely got robbed.


Well, this just in from CNN. An Alaska panel has ruled that Sarah Palin broke state laws in trying to get her ex-brother in law fired.

If Barack Obama cannot beat this group of fools on the GOP ticket, no one can.


Well, great. Just when the world economy goes to heck, Formula 1 decides to nix the Canadian Grand Prix and kill the millions of tourism dollars it brings to Montreal. Instead, they claim they are putting a race into Abu Dhabi instead.

And now people are clueing into F1's game. Seems dropping the event is a ploy to try and get the government officials to fork over public money to F1 so they can hold a race here in Canada. It's basically extortion.

To which a lot of people are going: "screw the Grand Prix!" Why can't NASCAR put another one of its races at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve? And the coast would be clear to go after the IRL, too. People are sick of the extortion and sick of these shakedowns from F1 all the time. Canada is basically being held hostage by the F1 promoters.

Still, it would be a shame to not have a race. We'll see, but all I have to say is this nonsense from Bernie Ecclestone blows bigtime.


Supermodel, hockey fan and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Carol Alt, 47, is going to be nude in Playboy!!!

Yes, there is a God.

She'll be in the December issue. (I admit it --I like Carol Alt.) Also, speaking of Playboy, I will have more to say about the big breakup involving the Girls Next Door, soon.


... every freaking day this week, it seems.

The Dow went down to just over 8,000 today and we've seen 500-point losses seemingly every day this week. Commodities are also taking a hit. Question is whether we have hit the bottom of the market yet.

Live continuing coverage over at Also at Also, try to avoid getting flattened by a banker or broker jumping from a window today. Life is bad on the Street. And that's all for right now.

UPDATE: Well, it looks like Wall Street recovered a lot of lost ground at the end of the day upon news of a big G7 summit meeting to try and solve this credit crisis. Still, this turbulence is too much for people to take.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


The first night of the NHL season -- at least in North America -- is upon us and here's a link to for all the scores.

I'll have more to say about the crumbling stock market, the election, and all that other stuff later on. Gotta watch the hockey games tonight, though.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008


And also under the weather. But mostly busy.

Back soon-- hopefully tomorrow, after I write my box office column again.

Sunday, October 05, 2008


What else is there to say about a 19th-place finish for Megan's massive-flop movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People? Beverly Hills Chihuahua finished first.

My rant on a wild weekend at the box office here.


I have been slow to the mark in commenting about the death of actor Paul Newman last week. While he's appeared in many great roles -- The Hustler, The Color of Money, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid -- the one role I'll remember him for is as the player/coach in Slap Shot.

Since this is also the opening weekend of the NHL season, I thought there was no better time to show this scene from Slap Shot, in honor of Newman. Enjoy.

Friday, October 03, 2008


At long last, justice has finally caught up to O.J. Simpson.

Guilty on all twelve counts of armed robbery in Las Vegas. About time!!!




This promises to be one of the heaviest weekends of the year as far as sheer quantity of new movies is concerned. Check out my latest Reject Report, where I make my prediction that a certain dog might win the weekend against plenty of all-star competition. Among them: geek magnet Megan Fox in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, and A-list movie actress/hottie Julianne Moore (pictured) in Blindness.

Good news for guys: word is the frequently-naked-in-movies Miss Moore is naked once again in this flick, too.

Of course, Anne Hathaway's flick Rachel Getting Married also rolls out, but it's only in eight theaters so I basically ignored it in my column for that reason. Heck, I write a box office column, and what good is it writing about a movie that is only in eight theaters and therefore won't make any money?! You get the idea.


Well, guess what. On the heels of such efforts as Alvin and the Chipmunks the folks at Warner Brothers have come up with a sure-fire idea for riches in this tough economy: they are bringing back Yogi Bear, Boo Boo, Ranger Smith and the gang for a live-action CGI version of the famous cartoon.

To which I go: why?? Hasn't everyone forgotten about Yogi Bear by now? Maybe this is a way to introduce the smarter-than-the-average bear to today's dumber-than-average audiences who don't know their cartoon history.

Anyway, I hope it works. It didn't with Alvin, and it didn't when they tried a similar CGI stunt with a Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. The voices had better be dead-ringers for Daws Butler and Don Messick, too -- or else they're dead.

For those of you who've forgotten all about Yogi: here's a clip of him from his heyday (thanks, YouTube!).

Oh, and I went over to Mark Evanier's website to see what he had to say about this development. I couldn't find much about Yogi Bear, but he did mention this is the 50th anniversary of that other Hanna-Barbera legend, Huckleberry Hound.

Thursday, October 02, 2008


Some entertainment news to pass along tonight, and the only way you'll get real entertainment news is from ME since Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood are so focused on trying to ape TMZ.

Well, seems the folks over at FOX have been making some decisions. Seems Fringe has been picked up for the whole season. But the latest rumor is also that The Sarah Connor Chronicles is about to get the boot.

Read an article about one of my favorite TV actresses Paula Marshall and some of the shows she's on. She's got this reputation for appearing in shows that get cancelled soon after, so say goodbye soon to Californication and Gary, Unmarried -- which in the last couple of weeks both rolled out with her in it.

These folks in Bollywood are on strike! Man, a lot of people living in Toronto won't like this.

And these actors in Hollywood may join them and add to the economic misery of the United States, with the Screen Actors Guild possibly walking.

That's it for now.


All I have to say about the two debates tonight, one Canadian and the other American, is this. As much as I wanted to follow the American VP debate and see whether Sarah Palin was a big train wreck, I kept on getting drawn back to that WWE-battle-royale-disguised-as-a-debate involving the Canadian leaders.

I gotta say, there was major piling on tonight. Stephen Harper likes the hockey analogies but he must have felt more like a football player tonight, getting tackled by everyone.

I don't think much changed for anyone tonight. A lot of people are turned off by the way these debates are conducted in this country, anyway. In the meantime you have these American leaders talking about serious issues that might impact the entire world. More intelligent discussion, and more civilized.