Sunday, July 20, 2008

REMAKES, SCHMEMAKES

There's been quite a bit of remake news lately, and it isn't surprising. You know, Hollywood never seems to come up with original ideas. They just want to come up with remakes of movies, and if not that then remakes of TV shows, and if not that then it's a movie version of a video game, and if not that it's a movie version of a comic book, and if not that it's a movie version of a best-selling novel or series of novels. How any original content makes it onto a silver screen near you these days is beyond me.

Anyway there are rumors of a remake being made of Papillon, a remake of a legendary prison-break movie starring Steve McQueen. The question then is who do you get to be the new McQueen? One might as well get Daniel Craig, because, well, a lot of people think he looks like McQueen.

I also understand there have been rumors about remaking Bullitt, bringing Brad Pitt onboard in the McQueen role. But that was about a year ago that these rumors were floating around.

The other big rumored remake is of the Blake Edwards hit "10" from 1979. Hyde Park Entertainment wants to do a remake of the iconic movie that made stars out of Dudley Moore and Bo Derek about this guy who has a midlife crisis and falls for a hot-looking 10.

It was a witty, adult-oriented comedy that was in keeping with the fun and oversexed Seventies. Which is why a remake sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. This is the uptight 21st century, filled with uptight people! They won't flock to see a 10 remake: they want to see motion pictures with superheroes in them! Or movies with lots of special effects!

Besides, we've seen too many botched remakes of Seventies movies already. We saw what happened when the Farrelly Brothers remade The Heartbreak Kid. They made a hash of it, unfortunately. When The Stepford Wives got remade, they made a hash of it; same with Poseidon. And we saw what happened to Edwards' beloved Pink Panther when it got re-done.

I think a good remake of 10 is possible if they make it as sexy as the original and if they find the right male lead. In fact, I think it's more crucial to get the male lead right because if he comes off as a total psycho/stalker/creep then the movie is sunk. Plus, I think it's important for the directors to have the courage to find a female lead who will be prepared to go all the way with her role and get naked on-screen, and be a sex symbol --- just like Bo Derek. It's a sexy role and it's supposed to be a sexy movie. If they just whittle it down and hand the female lead role to Jessica Alba or some other loser, 10 will turn out to be yet another piece-of-junk remake. Just like The Heartbreak Kid was.

If they turn to the Farrellys to direct the remake, 10 is doomed for sure.

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