Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I know, I know -- it's taken me forever to post about The Guys Guide to the 2008 Oscars.
Truthfully, though, there was nothing for guys in the show. In fact, it was a boring show from start to finish and I don't know why people were even interested in watching it to begin with. Ratings were down for the show. No kidding, what with all these downbeat movies that nobody cares about competing for awards. Well, okay, some people cared. But not all.

In Super Bowl terms, this show was not exactly Patriots versus the Giants. Instead, it was more like Ravens versus the Giants. You get the idea.

But they did put on an Oscar telecast was a show and guys did watch it, but only because the scheduled NASCAR race on FOX ended up in a rain delay and eventually was rained right out. Anyway, here are some rants about the Oscars from a guys' point of view.

(1) The technical award for visual effects went to The Golden Compass, but I notice The Bourne Ultimatum cleaned up in sound and editing. Not too shabby a performance for a great guys' movie.

(2) Good news for guys: winning Best Actress Marion Cotillard is a babe with extensive onscreen nudity credits . In a bonus, Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody is a former STRIPPER who used to dance on a pole. Take that Lindsay Lohan.

In fact Ms. Cody is now paying the high price of sudden fame. There are nude photos of her circulating on the Web from her stripper days and places like Egotastic! are running them. I will not dignify that web publication with a link, you can find it yourself. (On the side blogroll.)

Talk about sleazy activity by these websites, ladies and gentlemen. The World Wide Web is a big cesspool.

(3) Jon Stewart was not too bad. Really, he wasn't bad at all. Too bad he had to face the toughest audience in all of comedy, the uptight Oscar crowd. Really, this is never a happy group of people. Not exactly an audience loaded up with liquor, if you ask me. All these folks were sitting there on their hands, worrying about who was going to win -- and whether Stewart would insult their favorite Democratic presidential candidate. So that's what Stewart faced, but as I say, he gave it his best shot and looked a lot better than when he hosted the last time. More comfortable.

In an aside, the Academy had to apologize to Whoopi Goldberg for ignoring her in their salute to the former hosts of the show. One of many gaffes on the night.

The brouhaha over that omission kind of proves to me that the Oscars are a girls' show, because women are going nuts over this nonsense. Women are reacting in a manner similar to what you get from obsessed sports fans who regularly call in to sports talk shows on the radio! The hosts on The View are trashing the Oscars the way Jim Rome and other guys are trashing Roger Clemens and other losers from the world of sports.

(4) No big political statements by anyone, really, because Michael Moore's movie Sicko lost. Jon Stewart had a few jokes about the election, but I don't even remember what they were.

(5) Good news for guys: the most violent movie of the whole bunch, No Country for Old Men, full of blood and gore, won Best Picture.

(6) Heath Ledger was mentioned in the usual list of dead people that the Academy ran. But a lot of other people weren't. Check out this blurb by Nikki Finke about Steve Martin and a whole bunch of deceased people who the Academy ought to apologize to as well ( in addition to Whoopi Goldberg, who incidentally is still alive.)

That's it. Like I say, it was an even more boring show than it usually is, and it was no surprise to me that ratings were in the toilet. Let's face it, from a guys' perspective the best thing about the Oscars was Diablo Cody. That was about it.

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