Tuesday, April 17, 2007



Well, the big news last week was that Dino de Laurentiis was bringing back a remake of the campy 1968 sci-fi flick Barbarella. They're planning to do a Casino Royale-ish update to the original Roger Vadim flick that starred Jane Fonda.

Now the rumors are flying about casting decisions for this movie. One source says that Kate Beckinsale has been cast in the role of Barbarella, and when I heard that I thought holy $#!t, that's a terrific choice. Then I heard Sienna Miller was cast in the role and thought, well, that's an awesome choice, too. And then Halle Berry was mentioned and...

Well, it's pretty confusing. Who the heck is going to be Barbarella?! Make up your minds, already, guys, and get it over with. Put us guys out of our agony.

Apparently at the start they were going after Sienna Miller and Angelina Jolie, but Angelina was apparently too expensive. Which is too bad, because she would have been great for the role. But she already did Lara Croft, so probably it's best to leave Barbarella for someone else. From what I gather it's down to Sienna and Kate. Either way, they have the right idea. They are clearly going after a sexy A-lister, which is a good move. The one thing that impressed me about the original Barbarella movie was that they didn't have just anyone in the lead role. They didn't have some long-forgotten B-movie actress in the role, they didn't have Raquel Welch or Brigitte Bardot or Ursula Andress or Claudia Cardinale or Marisa Mell or Julie Newmar or some other cool dame like that. No, they went one better: they had Jane Fonda!!! A-list! And it turned out to be her campiest, sexiest movie role ever, wearing these skimpy outfits. The film featured a famous striptease scene right at the start of the movie in which Jane got naked, and fans find that opening scene really amusing. In fact, it was the best part of the movie. Really, that Barbarella flick didn't deserve Jane Fonda, but they got her and she made the flick so great.

So it makes sense that they find the hottest actress out there and put her in, and make her the new Barbarella. As far as I can tell, either of these actresses being talked about would be great. Kate Beckinsale (pictured) is absolutely drop-dead beautiful. She must be one of the top-5 most beautiful actresses in Hollywood right now as far as I'm concerned, and she's a big A-lister. She appeared in Underworld where she got raves for how hot she looked in those skin-tight outfits. So she's bound to look great showing leg and wearing go-go boots as Barbarella. Personally, I gotta say I love Kate Beckinsale and think she's great girlfriend material and a real hottie, and that's all I have to say about that.

As for Sienna Miller, yet another actress I am madly in love with, the question everyone has about her is whether or not she would even want this role. I dunno if she'd even agree to play such a sexed-up character because Sienna's a really uptight individual who has all these hangups about sexing it up in movies and the like.

Of course I'm kidding. Did you see her play Edie Sedgwick in Factory Girl?! Good god, she was bragging to the press for weeks on end about how much sex and nudity was going to be on display, and how she didn't want her own parents to see the movie, and on and on! There were rumors that she had actual sex with Hayden Christensen during the love scenes. Actual, real sex! And that it was all put on film! Later they said no, it wasn't real. Still, the notoriety was bigger than the movie.

She also got naked in Alfie with her big boyfriend at the time Jude Law and went topless in Vanity Fair! Sienna has no shame!! Outside of the movies she is notorious for being an absolutely crazy party animal, a girl-gone-wild. Worse than Britney Spears even. Besides which, Sienna dons the coolest clothes and wears boots all the time. So based on all that she ought to be a shoo-in. Sienna Miller was born to play Barbarella.

Kate Beckinsale, I dunno--- she is definitely gorgeous and sexy but she seems much more demure. And demure is something Barbarella most definitely ain't.

Barbarella is supposed to be a sexy sci-fi movie. So it makes sense to cast an actress who you can see wearing these skimpy space outfits and go-go boots, battling the aliens. The big question I have about Kate Beckinsale is whether she would be willing to go the distance in making a sexy movie out of Barbarella. Would she be prepared to get naked?! Heck, Jane Fonda stripped down in the original. And you know Sienna Miller will strip down, too! Kate, I dunno. If they don't plan on having at least a striptease scene like in the first movie, they might as well forget it. In order to do right by the original this remake has to be a sexed-up movie! Not some PG-rated piece of junk! Of course, if Kate says yes to a strip scene, well, terrific--- it'll make the movie and she'll become famous for it for all time, and everyone will compare her to Jane Fonda.

Still, I think they all have an uphill battle regardless, because the original was a camp classic. Who wants to see a bad remake when the good original still exists. That's their challenge.

You know, if they can't get either of these two hot dames to do this Barbarella role, they should try and get Anne Hathaway. Not only is she gorgeous and fashionable, but she's going out of her way to ditch her Disneyfied good-girl image and would probably love a chance to show the world how hot and sexy she is. As for Halle Berry, she blew her shot with Catwoman, so she can forget it. I don't care how hot she is. And nobody wants to see Lindsay Lohan in a movie ever again, especially not this one. Yes, my blog has gone in the deep end tonight. Well, so what.

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