Friday, December 22, 2006


What's with all this strange weather right now?

In Denver, Colorado they have had a massive blizzard this week that closed down their big "hub" international airport. The place basically got snowed right under, and a lot of vacation plans of a lot of people flying in and out of that place got messed up.

Reminds me of the time when I was an intern at CTV News when a big snowstorm hit the USA. I had to help cover the storm that hit the Northeast and called up all the airlines to find out what routes were all cancelled. Toronto wasn't hit but New York got affected. We were getting feeds from these places in the USA that were snowed right under. Anyway, Denver has been digging itself out from under.

And the whole west coast has been getting hit with storms all the time. Vancouver has been pretty hard hit. I know people who have been going on and on about moving to BC permanently, and one reason cited all the time is this claim that the weather is so great there. Oh, really?! It's been one big storm after another and one power outage after another. There have been bad road conditions and boil-water orders and all I will say about this is that life is terrible in British Columbia.

I really question this claim that life in BC would be so great. In fact, there's probably a greater chance of freezing rain there--- so you might slip, fall and get hurt! I know crime is out of control there, as well. Vancouver in particular is loaded with drug addicts and criminals. Traffic there is gridlock, too. And the place is expensive. Me, I got sick when I was in BC one time from food that I ate there. In fact, I could have died! So I don't see what the great attraction is of the place.

I'm on record already as declaring my desire to go somewhere warmer and sunnier, like California. But this fall they absolutely baked under record heat while Calgary was getting record cold weather. There's the Sunbelt of the USA--- but then Albuquerque got snowed under this week, too. Lots of snow. Well, darnet. I guess I can forget about the Sunbelt. Which proves my point: weather can be bad anywhere.

Meanwhile, here I am having moved back to the West at the very time that all Central Canada is enjoying "balmy weather". Central Canada apparently is going to enjoy a non-White Christmas. There is no snow on the ground anywhere--- not even in Ottawa. This is ridiculous, folks. There is no reason for Albuquerque to get snow while Ontario gets nothing. No snow in Toronto I can understand, but Ottawa? You're kidding.

Keep in mind, though, that earlier this fall Torontonians were getting hit with horrible storms all the time, with rain and a lot of winds. The temperatures cooled down rapidly and it was all quite unpleasant. So I wouldn't say people in Toronto have been spending all fall enjoying themselves with this lack of snow. The skies were cloudy and life was bad all the time. Definitely no fun.

There was a TV story which noted that people were complaining about this lack of snow back in 1998, too, ranting about how bad this was for business and all that. Then two weeks later they got a blizzard that was so bad that Mayor Mel Lastman infamously called in the Army to clear the place up. Me, I looked out my window that day and just laughed at Toronto's inability to deal with the snow.

The thing about Ontario is that the weather differs depending on what season it is. In the winter, life in Toronto can be quite miserable. But in the summer, there is no better place to be in Canada--- except it can be as hot as Los Angeles. And the smog is as bad as Los Angeles. I gotta say, Toronto is the Los Angeles of Canada. They think they're similar to New York, but they're not. The public transit system is just as bad as LA and the suburbs are just as sprawling and spread out. There's plenty of movie stars and production going on, and red carpet events. The place is crawling with immigrants, just like LA. And, very important, there's no NFL team either.

So during the summer there's really no difference between Toronto and LA; both places are stinking hot and smog is out of control.

The problem is that once the fall arrives it's usually OVER. After the film festival is over, that's the end of the good weather and you're stuck with lousy conditions, right through hockey season. So if you didn't enjoy the summer and it was smoggy all summer long, tough luck. Usually there's nothing else to do all winter than stay indoors and watch the Leafs on TV, because conditions are usually miserable. But this year it's actually not too bad there. Still, winter weather is NEVER as fun as summer weather in my book. I guess I like summer much more.

There's also massive fog in London, England right now but I'm sort of going: what's strange about that? So there's fog in London, that's not unusual. A foggy day in Londontown. Big deal. But apparently people there think it's unusually foggy. Okay, then.

The reason this weird weather is happening is due to El Nino. It's not global warming, folks, at least not yet. There was an El Nino that developed over the Pacific Ocean and that's caused all these storms that hit the Pacific and then hit the mountain states and places like Denver, Colorado. That's the reason why there were so few hurricanes hitting the United States this year: it was all because El Nino happened.

So enjoy the crazy weather this Christmas. I know I will. Not!

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