Thursday, October 05, 2006

ABC: THE WOMEN'S CHANNEL


I'm busy watching baseball on FOX and hockey on our beloved CBC, and I thought I'd take a moment between flipping channels during the commercials to rant about ABC.

I'm sorry, but as a guy I can't watch ABC anymore. I can't stand its programming. You know, it used to be that ABC was the "escapist" channel that aimed at a younger audience, and they had all these cool shows like Charlie's Angels and Fantasy Island. And there was plenty of comedy, including the odd racy show like Three's Company. And they had Monday Night Football--- with Cosell. Fun network to watch, guys were welcome any time.

Now, the network has totally gone in the tank under Disney leadership. It seems as if every show on that network is aimed at a female audience. It's all women all the time over there. They might as well change the name of the network to WBC: Women's Broadcasting Company.

Look at all the shows they serve up. Desperate Housewives! The Bachelor! Supernanny! Calista Flockhart in Brothers and Sisters! The VIEW!!! DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!! Gag, choke. And tonight it's Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. Yecch.

The latest rage is that Doctor McSteamy guy on Grey's Anatomy. All these entertainment news shows are all over that, but I'm not impressed. Who wants to see that--- except women.

Meanwhile ABC has been getting rid of shows that attract a male audience. If you want to see Monday Night Football, forget about ABC. Instead, tune in to ESPN like all the other males. What shows are left on ABC that are aimed at guys? According to JIM?! Boston Legal? HA! I guess LOST counts, sort of- at least it doesn't repel the guys. And we still have Saturday Night Football (college football) and Jimmy Kimmel late at night. That's it! Otherwise, it's the women's channel.

Even these home renovation shows and these America's Funniest Video shows are a waste of time for us guys. Who wants to watch that except the moms out there. Really, ABC seems to run more total dreck than any other network, more even than FOX. (At least NBC is giving an honest effort, not too much complete junk over there.)

I gotta say I am completely fed up with the lack of good programming aimed at guys on the TV screens in general. If you want decent programming for guys, you either have to tune in to cable to watch Entourage or the Sopranos, or stay up late to watch the late-night comedians. That's it! If it wasn't for Comedy Central and Spike TV, there'd be nothing for guys to watch on television. I'm dead serious about this. Look at network television. There aren't enough gritty cop shows on the air, and nothing with any spies or real action in it anymore. Instead it's all this serialized nonsense. Now, I know NBC is trying to attract some males to watch The Office, and My Name is Earl; I know that Jaime Pressly is very popular among the guys. And the Deal or No Deal babes are worth watching, too. But what else is there for guys to watch on TV, generally? Survivor?! The Biggest Loser? There just aren't an abundance of shows on the air loaded with steamy actresses to keep the guys happy- especially now that the WB is defunct. And especially now that Fear Factor is gone- Fear Factor always had gorgeous women on it eating bugs and stuff. These days, the only thing guys have to look forward to ogling on network TV is Jaime Pressly. ( That overexposed, boring publicity-whore Eva Longoria, pictured, doesn't count.) Meanwhile, the women get these McSteamy-type hunks on every show on ABC- they're all over Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. And these guys never seem to wear very much, either.

Even these procedurals all over the CBS schedule are aimed at a female audience. I read that Les Moonves did some research that showed that these CSI and Without a Trace-type shows always got a big female audience, so that's why they keep putting these things on. It's not because the guys are watching, that's for sure. At least the procedural shows on CBS are watchable- a lot more so than the repulsive dreck on ABC. And FOX has plenty of sports to show, so that makes up for the fact that they run American Idol. ABC, however, has no such excuses. I'm sorry, but as a male I gotta say ABC's programming is garbage.

That's my rant for tonight! Back to baseball for me, on FOX!

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