Sunday, July 23, 2006


(Above: gorgeous hottie Natalie Glebova, Miss Universe 2005.)

Well, tonight I plan to tune in to the Miss Universe pageant to see all these babes from around the world compete for the title. 9PM EST on NBC, and in Canada on Citytv. Nancy O'Dell and Carlos Ponce are hosting it live from Los Angeles.

This pageant is being staged under heavy security. They did a story on Access Hollywood about it, saying that apparently there was some death threat to Miss Israel and Miss Lebanon. So people are trying to make sure nothing happens. So that's the latest international controversy at this pageant. There's always some big international incident brewing at this pageant. Usually it comes from the religious nuts from some country in the near-or-far East that competes at the pageant, usually for the very first time. These guys can't handle it when some woman representing her country goes to the Miss Universe pageant and walks on stage wearing a swimsuit. They just can't handle freedom, these people. People ought to just lighten up.

Anyway, I've watched this pageant for years on TV. I remember back in the 1970s that I used to watch this thing on CBS, just after cable TV came to our area. Bob Barker used to emcee this event, and they used to hold it all over the world in these exotic locations. Eventually, Barker quit the pageant in protest because of all the furs the contestants used to wear.

I liked this pageant for a lot of reasons; they used to give the running scores for all these candidates as they were being judged by these judges, so you could tell who was winning or losing. So there was a real competitive aspect that I liked. These women could blow the entire competition in their final interviews with the host, answering these tough questions. You didn't have these phony talent competitions or any of the nonsense that eventually brought down the Miss America Pageant; they didn't give their contestants some "political platform" to run on or any of that bull. The Miss Universe folks just stuck to determining who was the most beautiful, period. They did make these girls do stupid, pointless song-and-dance routines at one point in time, but they eventually got rid of those under the new ownership (the Donald.)

I also liked the fact that there were lots of women from Latin America on the pageant, and you could tell because they needed the translators all the time. I thought these Latin women were hot! Every year the best-looking women at this pageant were the Latin women, that's why they kept winning all the time. That's another reason why every year the Miss Universe candidates were so much better looking than the Miss America contestants. Unlike these dull Miss America candidates, the Latin contestants weren't these girl-next-door types, they were WOMEN. They made a point of looking fabulous. I later found out, of course, that these Latin Americans took the pageant very seriously. Countries like Venezuela invested heavily in their contestants and made them get plastic surgery and the like. That's why Venezuela keeps winning these beauty pageants all the time, they really get into it. Besides, it's the only thing they win at, their soccer team is no good. (There was also a string of eight or nine years in a row when Miss Texas won the Miss USA pageant and got to compete for Miss Universe. Those folks in Texas took this pageant as seriously as the Venezuelans did.)

Apparently this event still gets huge ratings in Latin America. One year I tuned in to the Miss Universe Pageant feed live on Venezuelan TV over the Internet, just to see what the Venezuelans were so obsessed about. And of course it was big news down there, even though Miss Venezuela lost out to Miss Dominican Republic or whomever it was. Whenever I tune into a Spanish-language broadcast the day after the Miss Universe pageant is over, they always make sure to mention who won Miss Universe, they're obsessed with it down there. I read somewhere that Latin women are among the biggest consumers of cosmetics products in the entire world, that's why this pageant is so big.

Me, I just don't take this pageant seriously, I just tune in to be entertained. Last year I was quite amused to see Miss Canada, Natalie Glebova, win. As I tuned in that night I remember she kept on surviving all the eliminations and I realized, holy moley, she might just win this entire thing and beat these Latin Americans! I was surprised, largely because of the complete lack of interest in beauty pageants in Canada these days. There is rampant political correctness in this country and the feminists hate all the beauty contests, that's why interest in these pageants has gone down. The Miss Canada pageant was kicked off of CTV and has gone totally underground. Meanwhile all these other countries are still prepping their competitors like crazy and paying fortunes for plastic surgery and all that garbage. But Canada was still able to win in spite of all this. Woo hoo!! The best part was that Natalie deserved to win. She was absolutely the hottest contestant there and looked great in a swimsuit, but best of all she was a Canuck. OUR BABES ARE BETTER THAN YOUR BABES. Take that, Venezuela.

I noticed there were a couple of guys who were going nuts waving a Canadian flag in the audience after Miss Canada won last year. That was pretty cool.

Apparently the new, reigning Miss Canada is a complete dead-ringer for Natalie Glebova, so I think we may have a chance of winning Miss Universe again. We'll see. Then again, maybe Miss Italy will win and we'll see lots of Italians going down the streets of Toronto again, waving their Italian flags and honking their horns like they did two weeks ago. Fat chance.

Here's a neat blog on the pageant at Global Beauties .com. And here is a look at some of the buzz-worthy favorites. Check it out.

UPDATE: WHAT THE?! Canada didn't even get to the top 5! Instead Puerto Rico won, nosing out multilingual Miss Japan. This has got to be a joke, these judges can't be serious.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Confirmed, the judges weren't serious. Canadian funnyman Tom Green was a judge. Sean the winner of Apprentice 5 was also judging. Deal or No Deal babe Claudia Jordan was there with the rest of the Deal suitcase models. And what the heck was Carson Kressley doing there as a color commentator!? Couldn't they find anyone interested in girls?! (Just joking again, folks.)

1 comment:

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