Monday, May 08, 2006


I dunno why I still watch The Apprentice. This week I almost forgot to watch the freaking show. Only at the last minute did I remember that it was a Monday and The Apprentice was on. I still can't get used to the fact that this show is on Mondays now and not Thursdays.

Tonight, here in frozen Canada, The Apprentice on Global TV was going up against a playoff double-header on CBC: Ottawa versus Buffalo and then San Jose versus Edmonton. The Stanley Cup playoffs are bound to be more interesting than the Synergy versus Gold Rush mismatches. It is getting to be pretty embarrassing and sad to watch. Last week, Gold Rush was decimated when their two workhorses Charmaine and Tarek were fired. Only one original Gold Rush member is left, Lee, in part because of the free pass he got from all the Jewish religious holidays he took on the show, and also because he was lucky enough to win as project manager twice. Everyone else, though, was fired. The team is a shambles.

And I hate all the contestants left on both teams. The women on Synergy- Tammy, Roxanne and Allie - are all a catty group of connivers who are their own clique. They forced Michael off the team ( he left for Gold Rush ) and ganged up on Andrea and had her fired. Sean is the latest victim these three turned against. They made him out to be the outsider, totally unwanted and unliked, so on tonight's episode Sean had to join the perennial losers Gold Rush. At least he was able to leave Synergy before his awful teammates got him fired in the boardroom.

It's sad. Synergy is a lousy, cliquish place to work, but they keep winning every week anyway. What does that tell you: that to succeed in business, your company has to be a hellhole that's rife with office politics?! What a message to send to corporate America. That's why I can't stand Synergy. This is one instance in the history of the Apprentice series where I'm really pulling not for any particular individual, but for an entire team. At least on Gold Rush the people pull together and work hard, and listen to each other's ideas. Yet that team is getting their heads handed to them every week like they're the Maple Leafs, or better yet, the New York Knicks. I feel sorry for these guys, they cannot catch a break. Maybe Gold Rush should fire the coach.

I can't cheer for the individuals left, either, they're all uptight jerks! The women are all catty, and the men are an utterly unimpressive group who've basically done nothing all season. I hate them all, all these people. So why do I still watch?! Beats me. I have no rooting interest in anyone on this show, the people I cheered for were all fired long ago.

Topping it off, the teams keep making the same mistakes that we've seen for five seasons. This week, Gold Rush blew it again by making their sales event at the Rutgers football game a big extravaganza, and anyone who watched the Dick's Sporting Goods debacle of last year knows that is no way to go. You could tell from miles away that Gold Rush was going to be outdone once the other team figured out that all they needed to do was sell in bulk. That's what bugs me: your team could hold a great event and have a long line of customers, and do a lot of things right. But all the other team needs to do is go wholesale and sell in bulk, and they win and you get fired. It's sort of the easy way out, if you ask me. It doesn't reward hard work, allowing these teams to count bulk sales as part of their totals, but then again, look where hard work got Tarek and Charmaine last week.

And Michael's firing you could see coming for a long time, talk about predictable. His decision to consider letting the opposing team have access to the Rutgers University cheerleading squad, after Gold Rush negotiated for exclusive rights to them, was just the kind of thing the Trump brass wouldn't be impressed with. Trump said this move was stupid. When you have Trump saying something like that in the boardroom you know you are finished, because stupidity is a big firing offence with him.

And so it went again with tonight's latest witless Apprentice show. What a predictable, dull and boring season this has been, as I have ranted over and over again. Nobody at home is learning a darn thing about business by watching this series. It's clear that this show is only about Donald Trump and his big ego. The contestants are turned into his personal punching bags after losing the ridiculous tasks they are assigned to do. These boardroom sessions have turned into one-sided wastes of time, with Trump berating people and questioning their intelligence every week, calling them stupid. More and more, Trump reminds me of these former Roman emperors, berating people and throwing them to the lions for his own enjoyment. It may be amusing for him to humiliate people on his TV show, but it sure isn't fun for the audience. In fact it's embarrassing to watch the Donald yell at the contestants every week; he's not even listening to what they have to say! All the contestants are a bunch of chumps in this setup. What else can you say.

There's only one winner on this show: Donald Trump. And who wants to cheer for him?

1 comment:

Mike Barer said...

I thought of the Dick's analogy as well. Since this season was being shot while last season's shows were running, the candidates were unable to watch and learn from the mistake that happened. So many have been repeated.