Wednesday, December 21, 2005

MARTHA HIRES APPRENTICE TONIGHT, FINALLY

Thank God Martha's awful Apprentice show is ending tonight. I gotta say, this show SUCKED. Compared to Trump's show there was no comparison. This show was boring, contrived and silly. The height of silliness came when they decided to keep around this maniac contestant Jim, even though it was obvious he could never be hired. Jim was actually quite devious and entertaining, and one of the most memorable players ever to appear on the Apprentice shows, period. In fact, he was the only reason to watch Martha's show in my book. He had this strategy of trying to get all the stronger players fired so the weaker players could stick around and, well, all I will say is it worked. It worked bigtime. Martha's ending up with a very mediocre Apprentice tonight, thanks to all the people Jim helped get fired.

One time Jim made ape noises and acted like a chimpanzee just to throw off his type-A competitors and disarm them. Jim was a wild man but he was worth following, just to see what would happen next. He did well enough in his tasks to deserve to stick around, but there was no way Martha Stewart was going to hire this complete lunatic with his "strategy" for winning the job. He was just too strange for these uptights. After he was fired last week the only reason to tune in the show was out the window. The rest of the contestants are basically dullards.

It was just bad TV. And the grand prize is you work for an ex-con. Now, that's funny. You'll be learning business lessons from someone who just got out of jail. I just hope this new Apprentice isn't too dedicated to her job learning business from Martha, or else she's going to end up behind bars, too, eventually! ( Of course, the perfect ending for this series is a double-firing, because this show is So Cancelled. But that isn't likely to happen. )

People are still talking about last Thursday's stab-in-the-back Apprentice show when Randal trashed Rebecca's chance at an Apprentice job by refusing to agree to a double-hire. There is now a petition going at firerandal.com to get Randal fired for the classless, jerk stunt he pulled last week. The folks at Jump the Shark are citing Randal's hiring as a jump-the-shark moment for the show, though not yet up there with the infamous 3-hour Apprentice 2 finale with Regis Philbin that everyone thought was a massive train wreck. But the finale with Randal came pretty close.

But a lot of people are calming down now and realizing that Randal probably won fair and square anyway, that there is no big scandal here, that Rebecca didn't win any freaking tasks, and that the whole rest of the cast basically didn't like her, save for her best friend Toral. On the final task Rebecca didn't raise any money at her event. Isn't the theme song for the show "money, money, money, money?" And she didn't make any! She LOST, fair and square, to this Randal jerk.

Still, Rebecca isn't going home empty-handed. She has at least two job offers, one of which is from YAHOO! Seems the yahoos over there were so impressed by her handling of that big-shill-for-Yahoo!-charity event that they offered her a six-figure job. The YAHOO! execs got to appear on TV during the finale and looked like heroes for contributing $100,000 to these charities, and got lots of face time on TV, thanks to Rebecca's cowtowing. The YAHOO! people got out of this exactly what they wanted, a load of publicity. In the end, then, Rebecca did a great job--- for YAHOO!.

Best of all, she doesn't have to work for the Donald. I say the big winner of this Apprentice show was Rebecca.

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