Wednesday, June 29, 2005

MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE FOR CINDERELLA MAN

Movie theatre attendance is down at all the cinemas. They're blaming DVDs and the recent offering of really lousy movies for the dropoff.

Caught up in the malaise is the Ron Howard boxing movie Cinderella Man starring Russell Crowe as Jim Braddock. The Depression-era movie was shot in Toronto and has been getting rave reviews from the critics. In fact it's getting talked up for the Oscar. But the box office has been a flop. This movie was made for $88 million but it's only made $50 million and now some theatres are starting to pull the flick.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. AMC, an American movie chain, is offering a money back guarantee on Cinderella Man. They say that this movie is so good they guarantee it, or you get your money back. On the spot.

You can bet what will happen, thousands of moviegoers will go to Cinderella Man and walk out in supposed disgust, and then they'll get their money back and then waste it on a real, true clunker. Genius marketing by AMC. I haven't seen Cinderella Man yet but I ought to, since it was shot in TO. Got to support the local industry, you know.

Personally, I'm of the opinion the reason why movie attendance is down has a lot to do with a slate of lousy movies and less to do with DVDs or any of that. It seems like every movie I've seen this year has been a clunker, except for Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The main problem is there's not much originality out there, it's Remake Central. I saw The Longest Yard, too, and laughed like a hyena, but that movie wasn't so original. And I never did see the umpteenth Star Wars flick, I should go see it. The one I was disappointed with was Bewitched. I loved the old TV series and watched it when I was a kid; it may have been a stupid show but it had charm to it. But the movie has no charm and is three times as stupid. Will Ferrell was out of control as he usually is, but he was stuck in a terrible movie. When you remake a bad TV show, you get a bad movie.

Later this year they're gonna have yet another remake of yet another bad TV show, The Dukes of Hazzard. What's next, a remake of Three's Company? How about Gilligan's Island?!?! Starring Adam Sandler as Gilligan?! Yecch.

(Actually I hear that what actually IS next is a remake of Get Smart. I hope it's good.)

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