Saturday, March 26, 2005


I am looking into a legal comeback as I have told you, but it's gotten off to a rough start. I am already making compromise after compromise and that is not good. I am unhappy with my resumes, I am unhappy with what's available. I'm simply an unhappy person. The comeback may be dead in the water before it even starts.

The more I think of it, the only law career option available for me is criminal law; otherwise, I'd almost say forget it. That's the only field of law where I'm really interested in the subject matter. I actually stayed awake during the criminal law and evidence classes in law school. It's certainly the only field of law where I have a fighting chance of staying out of the hospital. Pursuing any other area of law would turn me into a wreck. With criminal law the work is generally interesting and the hours are generally good, and you feel like you're doing a public service or upholding the Constitution or something. Besides, for me it's either that or ambulance chasing.

Criminal law sounds better than pursuing personal injury law. PI law is actually quite lucrative for some people. I read about some guy in Toronto who articled at a big PI firm four or five years ago, then went on his own immediately on passing the bar and is now making millions of dollars. The problem is that the work sounds just terrible. Maybe it sounds cool to sue cigarette companies and McDonald's and get big money for spilled-coffee victim clients, but from my own experience most of the time you're stuck suing insurance companies over car wrecks and you're settling out of court all the time. It's grunt paperwork. The subject matter is gruesome and the hours are the worst, and the lawyers you deal with are horrible. But other than that it's great, you can get rich.

I read Melvin Belli's book about his legal career, My Life On Trial. He did PI work, mainly, and frankly it seems like it's all work, no life, screaming into dictaphones in an office etc. That's what I hated the most, the dictaphones. So what if he did big cases. Big deal. The big question, though, is: do I apply for PI jobs? I guess the answer is we'll see what happens with criminal law first. Put me on record as saying I need to be sold on PI. It can't be all bad, a few crim lawyers switched into that field (including Greta Van Susteren, she was a big PI lawyer.) But I'm much better at criminal law. PI really doesn't sound promising.

There's also entertainment law, but it's pretty clear now that I'd be looking at entertainment law as a way to get into the movie and TV industry, not because I want to be a legal counsel for any of them. I'd want to actually produce stuff, not sit and draw up documents all day in an office. But at least it would be a way in the door. Anyway, now I'm thinking the only viable plan might be for me to focus on going the criminal law route after all, see what happens, and see how I could do stuff on the side in the media or elsewhere. And if nothing happens for me with criminal law, well then, that may be that.

Anyway, on the subject of criminal law, here's a link to an article about two prosecutors in San Francisco who did the dog-mauling case from a few years ago. They both ended up quitting being prosecutors and are now on TV so I'm posting the article as a public service to myself, because their careers actually went sort of a direction I'd like to go.

The one, James Hammer, ended up reporting on Michael Jackson's trial so that's where he is now. (It also said in this article that he's gay, not that there's something wrong with that.) Anyway, who cares about him.

I'm more interested in the other prosecutor, Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, who went on to marry the extremely liberal mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom who legalizes same-sex marriages. What's with this San Francisco place anyway? Sounds like it's chock full of liberals and people who march in anti-war parades. No place for a conservative person.

In spite of that, I find this Kimberly Guilfoyle woman to be endlessly fascinating. From what I hear she's getting divorced, so she's on the market. The article stated she worked as a lingerie model or something before becoming a lawyer, and she loves to hang out at political rallies and fundraisers and stuff. And she's got the professional career thing going, she's now an anchor at Court TV. All I gotta say is that Kimberly sounds like my kind of woman. I'd definitely marry a woman like her. I didn't say I'd marry her, though, it sounds like she's a big freaking liberal. But that's life.

I'll tell you if something happens for me re: a legal comeback, soon. I don't even know if I'm going to even stay in Ontario, that's how confused the situation is for me.

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