Thursday, January 20, 2005

APPRENTICE 3 LIVE BLOG IS ON

I am sorry I am late tonight but I was at a job fair today... and unfortunately it did not go well. Did not go well at all. And now here's the really good part: I ended up late coming home. So this BLOG hasn't even started on time. And because I've had such a bad day I don't even feel like watching this freaking APPRENTICE 4 show! Oh, did I say 4? Seems like 4.

And oh yeah, these dumbbells in the National Hockey League are still far apart on an agreement after two days of getting the fans' hopes up. So yeah, I'm in an awesome mood tonight.

I'll tell you straight out, I'm not into it tonight! I care not one whit about any of these contestants. As you know it's Street Smarts versus Book Smarts, and the first task Donald Trump hands off for these jokers to do in this game is, guess what...

... to work at Burger King!

I am not making this up.

Look, here's why I feel the Book Smart people are getting hosed: Book smart people, in business, generally don't have to do chimp tasks like running a Burger King or selling any of their freaking products. Look, lots of people have made fortunes in the burger business. Ray Kroc, Dave Thomas... you name it. Colonel Sanders sold lots of chicken in his day. But you don't need a freaking college degree to do any of that. That's why so many high school kids work at Burger King or McDonald's, or Kentucky Fried Chicken. You don't NEED a degree to work there and university-level education means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING as far as getting ahead is concerned in that industry. If you have an MBA you're sure as heck not going to be thrown into some restaurant like these people were tonight, with no instructions. They'll give you a GOOD job on a PROMOTION track, doing REAL jobs in the company, and make sure you stick around long enough not to be fired. If you have a marketing degree, you should do their advertising campaign, not be stuck doing some stupid promotions outside. If you have an MBA, you should be put to work doing reports to root out how these restaurants can make more money. You shouldn't have to be stuck running these crappy restaurants! That's what I mean.

The whole point of getting an education is so you don't need to work at Burger King any longer! Really, that's the truth! If you get an MBA, normally you are able to get jobs as management consultants, investment bankers, or Wall Street bond traders, or some other type of position that would require an actual education. These are jobs which are supposed to use your "brains"- ie. they go to you for advice, and you give advice! Or you're a mathematical genius who studied economics, so you know how to profit from today's markets and stuff. That's where having a degree gives you an advantage over the "street smart" crowd- they may have great real-world skills but your advantage is that you KNOW stuff! Same with law grads: if you have a law degree you KNOW the LAW, that's what your value is. And that asset isn't going to show up when you flip burgers. Where college grads get into trouble is when they get thrown into jobs or situations where the employers don't give a damn about their education, and they're put in jobs that don't require brains and into situations where people are judged based on performing chimp tasks. That's what Trump is doing here and he ought to be ashamed.

If this were a fair contest Trump would be sending these people out to scout out good locations to build new casinos or something, or running some Trump event. Something half decent where it's important to actually be SMART. Instead, here all these people are running a BURGER KING, trying to sell a particular Burger King product! I mean, who has an advantage doing a stupid task like that?! Here are these people with fancy degrees, people who usually are placed on a different career path in business than those street-smart entrepreneur-type people anyway, and they're all being forced into doing the same silly tasks that, quite frankly, any chimpanzee could do. To quote Michael Lewis, what's the point of having a howitzer when the law forces you to hunt with a bow and arrow? Here they are, stuck in Burger King wasting their degrees. Heck, that's how I'd feel. This is total humiliation for Team Genius.

Oh, and here's the best part of tonight's show. The street smart people have called their corporation: "Net Worth". Pretty good name. The book smart people have as their name, get ready--- MAGNA.

As in Magna Cum Laude, they say.

Frank Stronach has to be pretty proud about that. So the geniuses on the genius team make their first dumb mistake- they subconsciously steal some other company's name! Way to go, uh, MAGNA CORPORATION. I hope Stronach sues your rear end for every intellectual property violation imaginable. This team may be book smart, but by stealing another company's name without checking first, the genius team has PROVEN they have no street smarts whatsoever.

So that's TWO reasons why I'm not into this show. I'm cheering for the book smart people, and yet they're already a bunch of total idiots. The street smart people are already at Burger King bragging: "hey, we've go no college degrees and we're proud of it! Those book smart people think they're above this stuff!"

9:24-
Winner is NET WORTH by a nose. High schoolers win. So all of you people with degrees, you might as well chuck your diplomas, they mean nothing to Donald Trump.

By the way, the big news this week is that Donald Trump is getting married to Melania this weekend. It's all over the tabloids.

The losing MAGNA team is going nuts over the debacle that was the marketing strategy and they are KILLING the marketing people for their idiotic marketing plan. This is really sad, really pathetic. They got stuck with a task worthy of a high schooler, and now they're all going to the boardroom. These people are ALL being hosed. ALL OF THEM.

9:35

FIRST BOARDROOM OF SEASON 3-

The people in trouble tonight is Todd, the project manager, Alex, a lawyer, and Danny, who got stuck with the marketing task and got absolutely smoked, and with his wild hair and clothing, sticks out like a sore thumb with this group of uptights.

Donald Trump is humiliating these people for losing to high schoolers, hardy har har. Well, they got stuck with the usual stupid chimp task. Of COURSE they're going to SUCK at it. Their degrees, their big expensive educations got WASTED today. And now one of them's fired.

The team is getting ripped. Carolyn called it the worst promotion ever, and George is ripping the team for failing to sell any burgers. "The objective was to sell this burger", they are being told, and they didn't. Now Danny is getting KILLED because of the freaky clothing he wears. This team thinks his clothes are AWFUL and everyone wants Danny FIRED. One person wants Todd fired for not being able to manage Danny.

Alex, Danny and Todd are coming back in.
Okay, prediction time: I think Todd is going to get RIPPED for bringing in Alex; what the heck did Alex do wrong. George is killing Todd for failing to put enough people at the cash registers and Carolyn concurs. I think TODD is FINISHED.

"Why did you bring in Alex?" Alex now is volunteering that HE was responsible for the point of sale and Trump killed Alex for the cash registers.

Trump calls Danny a total disaster, everyone on the team thought Danny was a total idiot, but Trump instead decides to humiliate Todd on national television for a "total lack of leadership", and says: Todd, you're fired!

WOW, first project manager is fired, and by sending train wreck Danny back upstairs, Trump HOSES the rest of the Book Smart Team. And look out if you're a project manager from here on in, because Trump is still on a roll going after ALL of you.

Really, I mean, the heck was this tonight? One episode into season 3, and I'm already furious with this show.

I'll be back with the blog next week... maybe.

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