Thursday, November 11, 2004

THE TRUMP BLOG, AND REALITY TV IN GENERAL

Welcome to another death-defying edition of The Apprentice 2 Live Blog. But before we get to the live blog for this evening I'm going to start off by letting you know about some of the other happenings going on in the TV world.

First of all, reality TV heated up this week with the launch of two new shows that sort of rip off The Apprentice. First, FOX debuted Richard Branson's effort The Rebel Billionaire.

I checked it out and honestly, it's not bad. Not bad at all. It actually takes a number of elements from a number of reality shows: it looks for an employee for Branson, just like with Trump; but the business challenges take place all over the world ( just like in The Amazing Race ). And the losers have to perform dangerous, crazy stunts to stay in the game, a la Fear Factor. It makes for a watchable hour of television. On the downside the show rips off every other reality show on TV. But other than that, compared to most of the boring junk that passes for reality TV, these guys actually make an effort. And Richard Branson seems like a genuinely good guy, unlike that trigger-happy jerk Donald Trump, or the crazed and demented Mark Cuban. I predict this show will be in reruns on the Travel Channel for years to come.

The other big news is that My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss debuted on Fox this week, and it's basically a big parody of the Trump show and totally hilarious. All Apprentice fans should watch that show, it's a riot. By the way, it's set in Chicago, and I gotta say, compared to New York, Chicago looks like a bit of a dump. Dunno why any of those Ivy League hotshots would want to live THERE.

There's controversy tonight in TV land, folks, as tonight over on ABC they are trying to run Saving Private Ryan. The problem is that a lot of ABC stations aren't going to run the movie. they're worried that the movie is going to run afoul of the FCC and that they'll be hit with millions of dollars in FCC fines. Good grief. Censorship from the FCC of a movie, all to protect those boring people in middle America who can't handle that kind of programming.

APEX: THE CULTURE OF DEFEAT

Someone please put APEX out of business. This corporation was bad enough when it was all female. Now even with a 50-50 split this gang can't shoot straight. This is still the worst, back-stabbing, dysfunctional group of idiots ever assembled, and the ranks were really depleted when friendly Mr. Trump fired one of its best performers last week in Raj. Now they're totally screwed.

Tonight we all know what will happen on Trump's show. Chris will get his head blown off. Last week Chris had a cow in the boardroom and yelled about how dysfunctional his APEX team was and how Trump ought to shake the teams up because that was why they were losing. He's right! But instead the board said, don't come to us: that's your problem, you solve it! And Chris was accused by Trump of disloyalty to his team. And now he's the APEX project manager, which is the kiss of death to everyone whose ever been APEX project manager. Well, that indicates one thing to me: his head is on the block bigtime. It is put up or shut up, and if APEX loses again he's a goner.

As for Mosaic, I think the project manager could also get his or her head blown off yet again. Sandy is completely exempt, and it almost seems as if Andy will never be fired, even though he has the respect of no one. Kelly or Maria are due to lead this team this week and I have a feeling it'll be Kelly at the helm because he hasn't led for a long time. I suspect he'll really luck out and lead the team to a victory, because APEX is in chaos.

The APEX team still has major human resource issues with people on there who should have been fired ages ago. They still have Ivana, who has plotted against every project manager ever and has been part of one losing challenge after another. You have Kevin, whose stock has gone down because of his direct role in at least three of his team's defeats. On two occasions he almost got fired. And then there is Jennifer M., who is winning at this game because she is flying completely under the radar. I don't get it: Jennifer had a big say in APEX's current human resources problems because she was the one who decided that Elizabeth and Ivana should stay on: the more talented members of APEX went over to MOSAIC and helped them win. But no one is reaming her out for that decision, at least not yet. Maybe, not ever. So far, Jennifer's the personification of what's wrong with this game: to get ahead with Trump, you have to shut up and do your job, and let everyone else blow themselves up. If you put your neck on the line or really make an effort in this game, it won't be rewarded. Look at Raj as a fine example of that last week: the project manager gets fired again, just for being the project manager of a group of losers.

Man, this game is all luck.

9:03
Confirmed: Kelly is project manager at Mosaic. Andy wanted a draw for the exemption because every exemption is huge. It went to Kelly.

Task is: create a bridal sale! Guess what, this is Sandy's business. MOSAIC is going to win and APEX is screwed again. And now Chris is melting down. "This is impossible", he's saying. He can't get a darn thing accomplished right now. And the team is doing @#$%-all for him. If he pulls off a victory tonight I'll be very surprised. And now Trump's message is "Believe in Yourself", which further indicates to me that Chris is finished. And Sandy is bailing out her team and making team leader Kelly the luckiest person alive right now.

9:16-
Chris looks like a totally beaten man. He looks like he knows he's dead on his feet and is going through the motions. Trump completely hung him at the last boardroom meeting and he really looks like his spirit is broken. His team is working overtime to bail him out. He just isn't into bridal sales, it shows bigtime.

9:19-
Problems are engulfing MOSAIC.

ANDY is on the block. Made a stupid comment when they were looking at bridal gowns. Clearly not in his element.
WES and MARIA are on the block. Big mistake at MOSAIC: marketing didn't put on the phone number for themselves! Maria and Wes are doing marketing and Kelly has someone to blame for this stupid gaffe! Now Wes almost gets into an accident driving a truck! Wes is looking so DEAD as well. Even Sandy has a bad feeling about this task, is seeing Marketing blow this opportunity.

9:30-
Maria got caught in a bold-faced lie re: the emails being sent out. Doesn't matter. They have lots of business. MOSAIC's gonna win anyway. Maria dodges a bullet yet again.

APEX is DOOMED. No customers. They spent the day handing out fliers to everyone. They are DYING. Chris is totally DOOMED unless he pins the blame on whoever is responsible for the marketing plan for APEX. Whose idea was it for just handing out fliers?

The winners are MOSAIC. Chris might as well hand in his resignation. They sold only 2 dresses. Kelly is exempt, again, thanks to Sandy. Big reward: 50 grand in jewellry! They are living it up.

APEX- THE TEAM FROM HELL!

THE BOARDROOM

The Donald is letting everyone have it, again. Kevin, Chris and Ivana are going to the final battle. It looks pretty obvious to me that Chris is a dead man. Given a bridal sales task with a team of losers. Unless George, Carolyn and the Donald surprise me, he's finished, unless they somehow decide Kevin and Ivana are to blame.

9:47-
The Donald and the gang say this group has no fire and no spark.

CHRIS IS FIRED. I saw this coming a mile away.



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