WHERE WERE YOU 40 YEARS AGO TODAY?

Big hint -- they weren't showing Baywatch. This show was about the only thing you could see on TV on every channel.

WOMEN I LOVE: CARMEN ELECTRA

I haven't done a Women I Love post in quite a while, but I absolutely freaking love Carmen Electra, and on the heels of that Baywatch post I thought I should revive the Women I Love posts with this tribute to this smoking-hot pinup goddess. Carmen Electra is a hot f*cking babe!!!

I've been a big fan of Carmen since even before her Playboy days, even -- she got started as a dancer in her own music video Everybody Get On Up, and I saw that clip on the Beavis and Butthead show on TV. I've been following her career ever since. Honestly, I never thought she'd get so big -- I thought she'd be just another one-hit wonder or something like that.

I actually saw Carmen in Toronto at the HMV one year when she was signing autographs for that exercise video thing she had going. She struck me as being smaller than I expected. I guess I imagine my fantasy women as being tall, dashing and beautiful. Anyway, Carmen Electra deserves induction immediately into the Babes Hall of Fame -- for her Baywatch work, for the Playboy pics she's done, all the cheesy movies, the Pussycat Dolls stuff, everything.

I also love the fact that she's such a crazy exhibitionist. Just recently she played at the Crazy Horse Paris show in Las Vegas, a topless revue show. And she shocked everyone by deciding she wanted to be topless like the rest of the cast, so that's exactly what she did!!! I read that when she went out there onto the stage topless, the audience went completely crazy. Absolutely freaking nuts. Only in Vegas.

That's why people love Carmen Electra -- because she knows how to babe it up and give the fans exactly what they want to see.

Here are some of my favorite Youtube clips of Carmen including a clip of her dancing to the Brass Bonanza on Craig Kilborn's show, a clip of her famous Taco Bell commercials, and a clip of Carmen being, well, just Carmen. Enjoy, guys.







Okay, that's it! I'm calling a halt to Hot-Looking Women week immediately, because I'm getting too carried away. Any more of these drooling girl posts is likely to get me committed.

NEW BAYWATCH MOVIE IN THE WORKS

(Pictured: The hottest, greatest female cast in television history -- the women of Baywatch.)

In keeping with Hot-Looking Women Week here at the blog I thought I should weigh in with my thoughts on the new Baywatch movie that is being proposed. I notice writer Jeremy Garelick has been taken on for the script, and the word is that this is going to be comedic and tongue-in-cheek. Well, the show itself was tongue-in-cheek and wink wink, and nobody took anything too seriously anyway, so I think that's absolutely the way to go -- assuming you don't go too far with it.

They have to be careful with this movie, though. The main problem they face is that Baywatch is already so Nineties and so retro. It used to be all over the tube, but now that production's ended it is as if the show has totally disappeared from the face of the earth! You can't even really find it on DVD anywhere around here -- largely, I take it, due to the rights issues surrounding the music on the show. I know they released the first three seasons, but that's about it.

I know everyone slams the show for being cheesy and stupid, but it was fun TV for a few years. I don't think the appeal of it really had anything to do with the show, however, because the series itself was always pretty lame. I think it was entirely due to the popularity and animal magnetism of the sizzling swimsuit-clad hotties who were on the series. Those babes were the sole reason the show stayed popular for so long. It really was, without question, the greatest collection of beautiful people ever assembled in the history of television.

Pam Anderson! Carmen Electra! Angelica Bridges! Traci Bingham! Gena Lee Nolin! Donna D'Errico! Erika Eleniak! And that's only seven of them.

I know they're the only reason I watched the show. They were fun to look at, these hotties, but beyond that I was a really big fan of these women. I'd follow these actresses on TV no matter what project they decided to do. I certainly didn't tune in for David Hasselhoff, I'll tell you that right now. Sign me up for the Gena Lee Nolin fan club today -- the girl sure had the look.

Also, the babes were famously the reason why Playboy stayed in business. Playboy would have been nowhere during the Nineties without their steamy magazine pictorials of Baywatch's babes, whether it be Pam, Carmen, Gena Lee or somebody else.

Here's something on YouTube featuring a compilation of all the cast members, and see if you agree with me about it being the hottest cast ever on TV:


The problem for the series is that there eventually came a point when a lot of the familiar babes left the show. First, Pam left, and then they brought in Carmen. Then there was a big mass-firing late in the show's run, just before the big switcharoo to Baywatch Hawaii. That move pretty much sent the show down the drain, because all the popular women who had made the show what it was were all gone from the cast. (They even got rid of Carmen Electra in that bloodbath, dammit!!)

Who wanted to watch after that? So a show that was already cheesy and stupid to begin with instantly became cheesy, stupid and lousy. By the end, they were back trying to babe up the show with the likes of Stacy Kamano and Brande Roderick, but this show had had it. The damage was already done.

Onto my thoughts on the movie. I think there is a big casting job ahead for this next Baywatch flick. Common sense dictates they should look to these Playboy models again for the potential cast, but some of the stories I hear have me worried. I read they wanted to get Jessica Simpson who, quite frankly, would be a joke. Everyone thinks she's an idiot. Incidentally, Tony Romo dumped her this week, so life is bad for Jessica Simpson.

And frankly, going the traditional-actress route is no way to go. I don't want to see the usual flavor-of-the-moment divas like Megan Fox or Jessica Alba. I want to see some beach goddesses like the ones we saw in the Nineties! They need women in the cast who are just like the women that were on the TV series: sexy and voluptuous. They're hard to find but they're out there.

I have my own suggestions: how about America Olivo, Joanna Krupa, Michelle Marsh, Tiffany Fallon, Diora Baird and Keeley Hazell?

Keeley (pictured below) would be great. They've talked about her for a role on a Baywatch movie before (along with her topless Page 3 pal Michelle Marsh) and she'd definitely be awesome, because she's already one of the hottest British pinup girls of all time. Baywatch babes definitely need to have a certain charisma and sex appeal - they must be sexy, voluptuous and popular with guys. That's a description that fits Keeley to the max because guys worship her and she has terrific, ahem, breasts.

Imagine this swimsuit being red. Keeley Hazell is a great fit. (Am I allowed to say the word "breasts" in a blog? This blog is supposed to be a family show.)

LATEST HARRY POTTER MOVIE OPENS

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opened at midnight early on Wednesday, and in my Reject Report column I had predicted that box office records might be in jeopardy. Boy, was I ever right. $22.2 million in midnight sales alone: a new record, shattering The Dark Knight!

$58 million on opening day, though, falls short of the Wednesday Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen record set earlier this year. I was hoping that record might fall, too, because that Transformers movie really was garbage.

More on Harry Potter's box office performance later this weekend.

SHANNON TWEED RETURNS IN TRIUMPH TO OTTAWA

On the heels of that story I linked to some time ago about how Shannon Tweed got stripped of the "day" in her honor in Ottawa, I notice this story about how she's now visiting the city. Apparently the fans don't care about that gong show of a city council; they are still showering their affection on their home-town girl.

(Although I do notice some people from council, like the acting mayor, tried to pay tribute to her. And Shannon is apparently cool about the proclamation falling through; I guess she realizes some people on council at least tried to honor her. Classy lady.)

I notice Gene Simmons was there, too, and they got to tour Parliament! Wow, it must have really been a big day in the capital for the locals there, because they never get any big celebrities there. People must have been tripping over themselves trying to get autographs.

I have a question: when is Saskatoon going to try and give Shannon a day in honor of her, too? Saskatoon's also one of her "home towns." If they do give her a day in her honor, maybe she and Gene will visit the city, too. They had better bring security, though, because they'll be mobbed for sure. No one famous ever goes to Saskatoon -- the citizens would be in a state of shock at seeing any famous people from TV.

Put me on record as saying Saskatoon should declare Shannon Tweed Day in her honor. Heck, it would one-up Ottawa and do wonders for publicity.

That's two girl posts in a row!!! Holy crow, Hot-Looking Women Week at The Cairns Blog is off to a great start.

UPDATE: Here's Earl McRae's take on the visit and I notice there's quite a bit of mention of Saskatoon in the piece and about how Shannon grew up and went to high school there on the west side of town. They even mentioned the old Commodore Restaurant. I guess Gene Simmons was also in town for a big concert he had.

Like I say -- get with it Saskatoon, do what Ottawa failed to do, and give Shannon Tweed a day in her honor. She deserves it.

WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS?

In the aftermath of that Rachelle Leah post from Saturday I have decided to officially declare this to be Hot-Looking Women Week at the blog. Be ready for a full week of posts about girls -- all because this is a slow summer news week.

And I notice that it is not only a slow news day where I am, but everywhere else as well. Since it's summer, the frivolous news stories have started. I notice that the New York Daily News has a photo feature called Who's Got Short Shorts?!

Who wears short shorts? The answer: every actress and model that can get away with it. Right, Holly Madison?

(Note: Holly is also able to get away with wearing nothing.)

IT WAS THIRTY YEARS AGO TONIGHT

That's right -- it was the day that Disco died!!!

DISCO DEMOLITION NIGHT in Chicago -- the infamous Bill Veeck promotion gone wrong. Clearly the most memorable baseball promotion in history.



And here's an interview from five years ago by Keith Olbermann, with anti-Disco deejay Steve Dahl.

Enjoy the All-Star break, folks.

UFC 100 IS TONIGHT

Speaking of other sports - the UFC 100 goes tonight at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas.

And all this is is yet another excuse to put up a picture of a girl on this blog. This time it's sexy UFC All Access host, Octagon Girl and former Playboy covergirl Rachelle Leah. I think she's great.

(Courtesy: STUFF.) Enjoy, guys.

MICHAEL JACKSON NEWS FROM NOWHERE

Welcome to yet another News from Nowhere with more live continuing coverage of the death of Michael Jackson. Aren't you fed up yet with Michael Jackson coverage?! I know I am, and a lot of these hard-news types of people are fed up too. They look at all this Jackson coverage on the news and they rant and rave that the networks shouldn't be covering it, that other events are more important -- like Barack Obama going to Europe.

But I think this Jackson stuff is exactly the kind of thing the media should cover. Why? Because it's news and it's what everyone is talking about. Here's a link to Fox News's coverage of the day many of us won't forget -- the day Michael Jackson died.

Heck, even us hardened news folks were following it. On Tuesday I was at a big news conference that involved the Premier of Saskatchewan, a really big deal. But as soon as it was over what did the photographer and I do? That's right -- we rushed back to the newsroom to catch the big Michael Jackson memorial.

What was laughable was that we in the newsroom were openly speculating that maybe, just maybe, Michael Jackson had faked his own death! And that the whole funeral was a big publicity stunt for his London concert -- that they would open his coffin, he would step out of there, and he'd announce: "I'm back!!!"

Well, that didn't happen, but now another controversy has been raging on about where Jackson's body is. You see the screaming headlines everywhere: "where's the body?!!" All in all, I gotta say that even though Michael Jackson has died, famed Jackson chronlicler Diane Dimond has nothing to worry about. The stuff coming out about Jackson right now will keep the gravy train going for her for the next two decades, at least.

Speaking of Jackson, he's on the cover of all the magazines this week, including People, Time, the National Enquirer, and all the rest of them. The newsstands really are all Jackson all the time. Which leads me to thinking...

Where's Farrah?!
Shouldn't Farrah Fawcett be worth at least a few more covers than she is getting? She died the same day, dammit, she deserves the same treatment! I think she shared half a cover with Jackson on In Touch magazine, but that's about it. All in all, Farrah has really gotten ignored. Which I guess is good, because she can at least rest in peace -- unlike Jackson.

But she deserves her own tribute issue or something, from somebody. Farrah was definitely an icon.

On to other news.

On the heels of the big Sarah Palin idiotic decision to resign as governor so she can cash in, here's a piece from David Frum basically saying that Mitt Romney represents the only hope left for the GOP -- if he can only get his own act together.

Do you know that famed former Playboy Playmate of the Year (and former Ottawa resident) Shannon Tweed had a day in her honor proclaimed in Ottawa? And then some bluenoses on council took it back, and said she didn't deserve it and such? What nonsense. I think Shannon kind of represents the "local girl makes good" story, where she leaves and goes on to fame and fortune. Sort of the American dream -- or at least the Canadian one. If I were in Ottawa, I'd be proud of her -- what's she's been doing in the movies is no worse than what the local politicians are doing in town, screwing things up (ie. the feds, Mayor Larry, etcetera.) Anyway, even though the uptights on council took back her honor, a local radio station actually gave her the honor back, so there's still people in Ottawa who love her.

In other news, her significant other Gene Simmons is in smelly garbage-strike-ridden Toronto as grand marshal for the Honda Indy. All I gotta say is I'm glad to see a race finally back there.
And I notice the rumors are swirling about Roy Halladay possibly getting traded from the Blue Jays. but that wasn't the top story on TSN the other day. And neither is the Honda Indy! The top story on Sportscentre yesterday was ... wait for it... John Tavares of the Islanders!!!

Just because he shows up at camp, he's a top story?? TSN, quit covering the NHL so obsessively. This is not hockey season; it's July, dammit, it's baseball and football season! In fact, football is definitely a bigger story these days here in the West and a bigger story where I live, but they insist on covering the NHL. And the Islanders even have training camp this fall in Saskatoon, but folks in town only cared about one thing this weekend: the Riders. You media folks in Toronto, quit talking about the NHL. There are other sports.

Oh and Bruno rolled out this weekend. My box office rant is up about it.

That's it!!!!

BIG MICHAEL JACKSON FUNERAL IS TUESDAY

Just a reminder to myself to tune in to the big Michael Jackson funeral that is going to go at Staples Center, Los Angeles. Don't miss it -- it promises to be the Super Bowl of funerals.

I'm not kidding. Check out CNN for coverage, since, well, they own this story.

THE SUMMER OF DEATH HITS THE NFL

This time it's former Tennessee Titan Steve McNair, big NFL star. Shot and killed.

FRIDAY'S NEWS FROM NOWHERE

Here is the latest roundup of a week of news.

Well, in the wake of my last Reject Report box office rant (119 comments and counting) comes my latest rant about the July 4th weekend offerings.

Also, the CFL is back this week! Football season is on again in Canada and I am happy about that.

Al Franken (left) won his court case this week so the funnyman is certified as the new senator from Minnesota.

Farrah's funeral was Tuesday. Also, I had heard they were going to charge $25 bucks a pop at Michael Jackson's funeral next Tuesday at Staples Center, but I guess that isn't going to happen as people are realizing that's not such a great idea. Anyway, his funeral is turning into this big spectacle.

In the meantime, they're still trying to figure out whether it was drugs that caused Jackson's death. They also showed off video from the big rehearsal for his London concert. That was from last Tuesday.

In other funeral news, Canada's former governor general Romeo LeBlanc has been laid to rest.

I think that's it.

SARAH PALIN CALLS IT QUITS

Big news out of Alaska - Sarah Palin has had enough and is quitting as governor.

A big story -- still lost in the shuffle of the Michael Jackson death coverage on CNN.